Words cannot express

As the title describes, words cannot express how meaningful this trip has been so far. It's quite ironic, and all you fellow writers out there, I'm sure you can agree, but part of the reason why I write stories, essays, and so much poetry is because I am obsessed with the inadequacy for words to truly describe experience and our perspectives of it....yet as every writer does, I keep trying.

You know, this blogging thing is new to me, I find myself speaking very generally about experiences that are so personal to me. I think I'm the type of person that takes a while to process things I'm experiencing into words as deeply as I feel them emotionally...i guess that's why i write poems...sometimes, many times, the feeling is so abstract...being here such a sublime and soulful experience, trying on all levels and inspiring on many others...I have a hard time finding words to express...

Today, I'll move from general to personal...I want you to know what is happening but also find certain words rising to the surface, inadequate as they may be, to describe how I'm feeling about it.

Today is the first day of workshops of our second week.

Jamie offered a workshop of Goal Setting using the SMART model to a group of teen internship students here. Brandi offered a workshop for children on nutrition that was a great success mostly because of the fun activities she incorporated to get her message across. We finished our day of workshops with Eco-Beth's workshop of Eco-tourism where the children were delighted to plant their feet into a hunk of homemade play dough as a way to demonstrate the idea of making our ecological footprint, another great way to end the workshop with something fun. Chris also had an opportunity to share his journey into the career of paramedics, what that career looks like and why he's so passionate about it. The day ended with the youth here having the exciting opportunity to take a dance class with a group of Break-dancers from Houston called "Havikoro". (Youtube them, they're awesome)..super cool guys being funded by the US Embassy to go around the world to different developing and under-developed countries, helping young people to express themselves through dance instead of violence...I'd love to have these guys come down to T.O. and facilitate some workshops with the under-served youth POR AMOR works with in Kingston and Galloway...no worries, i got their card...I'm always networking ;)

Words truly do fall short. I told the project participants in our first orientation back in Canada to brace themselves and be prepared for an experience that not many people will understand since they weren't sharing the experience with us...now that is not to exclude the importance of sharing this experience through the blog...I am so happy for this technological device/media to keep our friends, family and community back home informed...but truly, words cannot express. Again, thank God for photography, and believe me, we do have many more photos to add (the days have just been so full and it takes time to download photos and then select a couple of the millions we are taking...i see MANNNNNY amazing creative and socially active projects, even movements, about to evolve from these two weeks, and especially the photography and video documentation...but i digress...) but even photography...you see our pictures and you read our words but TRULY, you have no idea what this is like until you experience it for yourself. THIS IS WHY FROM THE BEGINNING I have been so passionate to make a trip like this manifest, to have the prividlege of facilitating and exposing this experience to students, young people who are discovering themselves (just as I was discovering myself on my first service learning experience) and who have the passion and energy to take or create a path in their life to create positive social change.

To reiterate the POR AMOR vision: "POR AMOR envisions a world where communities flourish to manifest positive social change". Those words were the result of a 5 hour meeting (i'll never forget it) amongst me and my three other POR AMOR co-founders/co-creators and it was a result of hours spent on trying to find the perfect words to express why we do what we do...we say we do it "for love" but what do we mean when we say that. How do we express the sentiment that we want everyone to care about the world, about doing what they can to begin and continue taking action to change communities for the positive as much as we do and how do we put into words our dedication to this vision and mission, creatively...since creativity is essential...we need to create new solutions to these old problems... the world is truly in a critical state and it is a blessing and a curse to be alive in such a critical moment in human history where, literally the destruction or healing of the world literally lies in the actions we take TODAY.

In our POR AMOR projects and in my own life work, we have become acutely aware that sustainable change needs to involve youth in this vision cause they are full of fresh ideas and visions and the restorative energy, as Jamie keeps repeating, " to get the job done".

But what is also so important is that our youth need mentorship and the wisdom of their elders on these journies of social change. We all need the support of our elders, those of us who have been there, done that, seen what works and what hurts....sustainable community development truly involves everybody..and I'm in a bit of a peculiar position myself at this age (31...not a youth and yet not an elder but certainly a server of positive change in an array of different forms both personally and professionally) where I find the wisdom of my growing experiences of social justice movements causing me to desire more security and foundation in my life which inevitably involves less risk and more responsibility even as my vision remains revolutionary and my hopes full of idealism and a shameless critical eye for the paradoxical lack of integrity I see in all sectors: business, government and public ... even as I watch them evolve and increase in empowering community consciousness for on social and environmental levels. I still want to dive into social justice initiatives yet I know longer find my self in an anti-system stance as I did in my youth. I now realise and can appreciate that all lasting change must come by working WITH and not AGAINST the systemic structures all ready in place. (I hope you can follow ...i know i'm all over the place but blogging is for processing experience right?)

The height of what I'm feeling right now is this: gratitude. I am grateful for being in the position I'm in, to be socially active with young people in the midst of growing my own NGO of social change, POR AMOR like I flower I water daily while at the same time working for and in collaboration with an organization as socially transformative as Centennial College. It is certainly a place where I can say I love my work. I feel blessed to contribute to the labour force in a way that does not compromise but instead promotes and enhances my own personal morale and ethical stance in this world.

I'd like to express my gratitude to so many people for making this happen: Virginia Macchiavello for her visions...I can't count the amount of times we sat in her office discussing the importance of global experiences abroad for students (it's something that you experience...you can read about it and the reading or videos or however you take it in will enrich you but nothing and really I do believe that nothing can change you as much as stepping out of your home culture and comfort zone and entering a foreign one where nothing but your mere humanity and open heart can make such a profound difference in the lives of others and MOST importantly in the life of your Self and in finding the personal direction and purpose that has brought you to this Earth in this life.

I think the students are really learning what they're made of here...we all are, Myself, John and Kristi included. We're brushing up against many sharp edges, recognizing and being humbled daily by both the vulnerabilities and strengths we had no idea we had.

Knowledge of self is a life long journey yet how easy it is for us get so caught up in our day to day, defending our comfort zones so adamently, especially in North America admist the constant distractions of mass media and overload of our information age. Yet, it's in those leaps of faith, as we've all made on this trip, out of our comfort zone and into a state of empathy, that we truly discover what it's like to be human in the wide and complicated array of what that means. How can we not be changed by this?

I'm so grateful to Vicki Bismilla, for supporting this journey from the get-go and all the GCEA committee for jumping on board without hesitation. I'm sure that it is because they too have had these life changing experiences and recognized not only of the mind but, perhaps more importantly of the heart, that life changing experiences, as cliche as the notion may sound, really do enhance and enlighten the people we thought we were, the ones who we think we now are and the ones who we envision and enliven ourselves to become.

I'm so grateful for Kristi for supporting this project and diving right into not only getting involved but to accompany me on this journey with the students. Also, Kristi has supported POR AMOR from her first introduction to our initiative and demonstrated right away her enthusiasm to help us share this initiative with the College. Without Kristi, this trip never would have happened and what an inspiration she has been throughout. Again, her vision and heart for students, for learning and education, for sound infrastructure around exciting and social transformative organizations, be they educational or social enterprises, has been the kind of support one could only dream of...but as I always tell my students, youth activists in my programs and friends and families...life really is a dream...we make a nightmare, a fantasy or a fantastic journey of it depending on which perspective we choose to embrace and carry with us...and it is a choice...ask yourself, what perspective do you choose and why?

Having Kristi and John jump on board as chaperones has been a crucial element to our project success. I know it's not done yet but all ready it's a success. I knew Kristi would be amazing to work with because of her supportive nature but I had only met John for the first time about 10 days before our departure and what a force of compassion, direction, human resource management, and timeliness (ask him how he feel about dominican time ;)...we've worked as such an effective triad supporting our students at every turn. I'm honoured to work with such great guides.

And lastly, I am so grateful for my three POR AMOR Hermanas de Alma (Soul Sisters)...I told you all that I carry you with me on this trip. We have always wanted to share this experience with others. What I am having the priviledge and honour of sharing with others, to change their minds, to open (and sometimes break) their hearts, to wisen their experience-base and deepen their lives and visions of this big, beautiful and diverse world, all started with our tiny collective in Puerto Plata, back in 2003 (And thank you Rita Gautschi as well for introducing us to this magical and devastating island). I'm so grateful to have such strong, visionary, beautiful and gifted women to walk on this path of social justice with me, both locally and abroad and all in the name of LOVE and it's transformational effects on the world both inside and around us always.

I started this blog by saying words cannot express...yet as a poet and writer I'm constantly trying to make it happen anyway...and if I have given you any inkling into what it feels like to be me, to be me here trying to bring you here with me, if not in a physical form than at least in a mental, emotional, or spiritual one, than I feel these words are not in vain. Yet i'll say it again, TRULY, I could never possibly express what I feel in the pit of my gut and the depth of my soul when I'm here. Words would never amount to a fraction of how it feels and I raise my hands in surrender, I accept that and try my best anyhow...

My intentions for this "blogging thing" which kind of feels like a journal entry gone public, is that YOU may you find your own experiences in these descriptions and our photos, and that my words may inspire you to create more of your own meaningful experiences in this one precious life. Everyday is a new day, to have new eyes, a new heart and a new perspective for walking a little more upright, a little more compassionately, consciously and effectively in this world.

I hope these students can inspire this for Centennial through the sharing of this experience and that this initial launch to GLOBAL CITIZENSHIP EXPERIENCES ABROAD is truly the beginning of something deeply transformational for Centennial College and the students and faculty ready to step out of their comfort zones and embrace the opportunity of change in ways that make this world just a little more brighter in our many dark corners.

And now I express my gratitude to you. Thank you for reading this far, i know I can be wordy. Thank you for letting me speak outside of the generality of this trip into the experience I have hardly even began to process, for letting me speak (write) from the heart.

Life is both wonderful and serious. The sacredness of it all is what I treasure, even as it builds and breaks my heart...it teaches me everyday to keep love alive...and I do.

Namaste
Rachel